Did you say big engagement rings are tacky? Oh, sorry I thought I misheard you – I was quite distracted by my own reflection in the enormo table facet on this rock I’m rocking currently.
Perhaps I intended to mishear you. Because A. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life and B. we’ve discussed this already.
You know I love you, but tackiness is in the eye of the beholder. I know women who just abhor emerald cuts, which I always considered above reproach. But one of my friends described them as “Dynasty-level 80’s relics.” She’s wrong, clearly, because there’s nothing more glamorous than Dynasty or the 80’s or emerald cuts. And every Harry Winston admirer out there will shout you down if you come for their beloved emerald cuts.
I even know of a few ladies who don’t like princess cuts. Why?? What did a princess cut ever do to you? “The corners are too pointy.” Ok fine, that’s a weird thing to get hung up on but I’m not a big princess cut fan anyway (too bottom heavy. I want my carat weight right where I – and you – can see it. Because I don’t care if big engagement rings are tacky.)
Ovals? Bow-tie effect, and they’re just round wannabe’s. Cushion cuts? Too trendy (um, they were literally the first diamond shape in ancient India but okay.) Marquise diamonds? Ew. Pear shapes? One columnist on a popular Grandex site referred to them as teardrops (and yes, she thought they were tacky.) Don’t even get some ladies started on heart shaped diamonds.
I’ve heard people disparage round. brilliant. diamonds. “Too boring.” Admittedly, boring
= tacky, but it’s still disheartening.
And the common denominator for each of these fiery oppositions to any particular shape is that the judge has already pinpointed The Perfect Diamond Shape. And the girl next to her disagrees. So you may believe you have the most perf engagement ring of all time (you’re right, BTW. If you think that, no matter what your ring looks like, you’re right.) And someone, somewhere, is scrolling through Insta and snorting into her PSL thinking your ring is tacky. But what do you care what she thinks? She has snot in her coffee.
But more than shape, more than clarity, certainly more than cut (which is inexcusable) there’s one of the 4 C’s that evokes cries of “tacky!” There’s one factor that’s responsible for over 93.7% of all catty screen shots in the group chat. You know what I’m talking about.
Carat Weight – or size, to the uninitiated (and jelly.)
It doesn’t matter if you have a D Flawless Triple Excellent .75 carat weight that your groom took months to save for and weeks to choose. It also doesn’t matter if your new fiance is a Greek shipping heir who picked up a 19.86 carat that belonged to Huguette Clark after getting tipsy at brunch and stopping by Christie’s on a whim. Nor does it matter if you, like the trillions of awesome brides I meet in my profession, proudly wear a diamond with the perfect combo of the 4 C’s for your taste and budget, and the perfect engagement ring setting to show it off.
Someone, somewhere, has decided that big engagement rings are tacky. _____ shape engagement rings are tacky. Halo engagement rings are tacky. Fancy yellow diamond engagement rings are tacky. Rose gold engagement rings are tacky. Mosaic engagement rings are tacky. And on, and on and on.
But just remember – that person has snot in their coffee and you have a gorgeous engagement ring that you love.