Diamonds are the traditional stone for engagement rings, and the advertising of them can certainly color opinions of the stone. My main suggestions are to educate yourself on diamonds, and to find out your fiancé’s jewelry preferences. This will go a long way towards finding the perfect combination between price, quality and size.
Let start with the “two month’s salary” myth: Simply put, you do not have to put two month’s worth of salary towards the purchase of an engagement ring. Some arbitrary number does not mean you love your fiancé any less or any more than someone else.
Next comes the advertisement stating “Diamonds are forever“. The fact is that diamonds can break. They are the hardest gem on the MOHS hardness scale, but as with other stones diamonds have their weaknesses. A diamond has four directions of cleavage (also called perfect cleavage). If it receives a blow in any of these four directions, it can split. To be fair, most diamonds are set in a manner that this become unlikely, but the possibility is certainly there regardless.
“Surprise her with a diamond” is another advertisement you may notice. This advertisement has one main objective and that is to get you into the store/jeweler to purchase a diamond. Sounds fine on the surface, but you will likely buy a bigger or more expensive diamond than your fiancé might actually want… and that’s exactly the idea. It’s only by actually talking with or observing your fiancé that you find out his or her preferences. After the fact is too late, as they will (out of their love for you!) accept anything you buy them whether it is what they would have preferred or not. My wife and I picked out my (and her!) engagement ring together, but that’s not necessary if it makes you uncomfortable. Simply find out your fiancé’s general preferences.
Below is a small list to guide you in doing just that.
- Does your fiancé like wearing jewelry (specifically rings) at all? If not, a small stone or a setting that doesn’t get in the way may be appropriate.
- If your fiancé does wear jewelry, does he or she tend to favor large or small jewelry? This can be a gauge as to the size of stone he or she would prefer.
- Is your fiancé more interested in size or quality of jewelry? This can tell you whether to buy quality over size and vice versa.
- Does your fiancé even like diamonds, or does he or she prefer other gemstones? You may be better off discussing the purchase with your fiancé to insure that you buy something he or she wants to wear.
- What color of metal does your fiancé’s jewelry consist of? This will help you when choosing the setting of the stone. If she or he always wears white gold rather than yellow gold, it is very likely that they would enjoy a white gold setting better.
The above will give you somewhere to start, and whether you buy the diamond with or without your fiancé present, you’ll have a much better idea of his or her preferences. “Surprise her with a Diamond” is also the advertisement that encourages going out on a whim and purchasing a diamond without researching the subject first.
“Only Diamonds will do” is the final advertisement I want to cover. Again, by actually finding out your fiancé’s preferences you will know whether this is true or not. Some people simply do not like diamonds. They would prefer another gemstone, and though they will appreciate the thought behind the ring they won’t love it as much as they might have loved something else. Others do prefer diamonds, but they may like the way that diamonds look with another stone. Others do believe that only diamonds will do. The only way to find out if this is correct in your case is to ask your fiancé.
Samet is certainly correct that buying your intended a beautiful engagement ring should not break your budget. There are beautiful rings at every price point that will suit the needs and tastes of you and your fiancé, and by proper research (both about the purchase and their taste in jewelry) will guarantee a happy couple.
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